Calling the Kettle Crony, Part 2: Charles Koch

If you’ve been here before, you might remember that in my previous post, I said that I had been starting to think that Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney “truly take the absolute effing cake when it comes to astonishingly shameless hypocrisy on the topic of Crony Capitalism and How It Is Destroying America” but that it is possible that I have since been proven wrong.

That’s right; I thought I had it all figured out, but then former Michigan governor and present-day bad-ass brainiac Jennifer Granholm, host of The War Room on Current TV, had to go and post a link on her Facebook page last Friday to an August 16 op-ed that exposes Rep. Ryan and Gov. Romney for the amateurs they are.

That op-ed, “Why We Fight for Economic Freedom,” has left me with no choice but to reconsider my earlier statement because of the very real possibility that the title of Absolute Effing Cake-Taker When It Comes to Astonishingly Shameless Hypocrisy on the Topic of Crony Capitalism and How It Is Destroying America might perhaps be more appropriately awarded to its author. He is none other than that Quintessential Crony Capitalist Hypocrite himself, Charles Koch. (Yes, he’s one of those Kochs.)

Granholm and the Columbia University economist Jeffrey Sachs discussed Mr. Koch’s op-ed on the August 17 edition of War Room (video here). I have not yet watched, mostly because I was afraid they’d use up all the good lines and I’d have nothing left to write about, but I am sure it will be well worth my time and yours.

Mr. Koch’s op-ed was published on Newsmax, and I am reluctant to link to it directly because of my conviction that no one should ever have to visit Newsmax for any reason. If you’re not familiar with Newsmax, the best comparison I can come up with to try to describe it is to say that it’s kind of the Weekly World News of political, um, journalism. It’s also kind of like the Onion, except it’s not funny, and it is bankrolled and run, respectively, by two Clinton-era miscreants: billionaire nutjob Richard “Arkansas Project” Scaife and Christopher “OMG Hillary Killed Vince Foster!” Ruddy.

Anyway, despite my reservations, here is the link to the op-ed. You’ve been warned.

The squeamish should please note that I will excerpt generously, so they will not miss much if they opt not to give Newsmax the satisfaction of a page view. While charges of cherry-picking could conceivably be leveled, I have to point out in my defense that there is pretty much not one single word in the entire piece that isn’t an unbelievable sack of disingenuous, self-righteous, hypocritical malarkey, with the possible inclusion (as Mary McCarthy once famously put it) of “and” and “the.” The whole thing is nothing but cherries.

I have to start with a quick spoiler alert: Koch never actually identifies the “we” in the title (“Why We Fight for Economic Freedom”). The text of the 800-word op-ed contains ten occurrences of “I” and only one of “we” apart from the title. We (meaning us, or everyone who has a perfectly good day to ruin by actually reading it) are left to infer that he probably means himself and his conjoined twin brother, David, to whom he is attached at the wallet and at the basal ganglia.

This seems to be the guiding principle of the op-ed, its thesis, the reason “Why We Fight”:

I want my legacy to be greater freedom, greater prosperity and a better way of life for my family, our employees and all Americans. And I wish the same for every nation on earth.

Except for public employees in Wisconsin. Those commies can go suck it. Except for this commie, the one my dad, Fred “I Heart John Birch” Koch, liked to kick it with back in the 1930s.

OK, I added that last part.

(But see “Joe Stalin Made Me Rich, But I’m Really a Free Market Patriot,” by Theo Spencer, linked here, and “Kennedy’s Death Is Used as Gimmick to Recruit New John Birch Members,” linked here, by the legendary and controversial journalist Drew Pearson, who is not to be confused with this guy. In December 1963, Pearson reported that Mr. Fred Koch and several other like-minded “disgruntled tycoons” were behind full-page ads in the Washington Post and the New York Times claiming that JFK was “a martyr to communism,” despite their pre-assassination charges that President Kennedy was “consorting with communism.” Pearson notes that Mr. Koch the elder “built 15 refineries in Russia,” which he suggests “would appear to put him more in favor of coexistence [with the USSR] than the late JFK.” After listing the names of those who paid for the ads, he concludes: “These are the men who are using Kennedy’s death to campaign for new members to the John Birch Society.”)

Let’s move now to some context so that we can be sure everyone is up to speed on the clear and present dangers to Charles Koch’s Economic Freedom, which he must therefore Fight For, because as he urgently reminds us in the op-ed, “Nations with the greatest degree of economic freedom tend to have citizens who are much better off in every way.”

This is probably going to seem like a digression because the threat to Mr. Koch’s Economic Freedom may not be immediately obvious from the following example, but let me assure you that this is a Deadly Serious topic about which I would not joke nor from which I would even dare to digress. Anyway. As I was about to say, in this Politico article from May 2012, “GOP Groups Plan Record $1B Blitz,” Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei report that

Republican super PACs and other outside groups shaped by a loose network of prominent conservatives – including Karl Rove, the Koch brothers and Tom Donohue of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce – plan to spend roughly $1 billion on November’s elections for the White House and control of Congress, according to officials familiar with the groups’ internal operations.

That total includes previously undisclosed plans for newly aggressive spending by the Koch brothers, who are steering funding to build sophisticated, county-by-county operations in key states. POLITICO has learned that Koch-related organizations plan to spend about $400 million ahead of the 2012 elections – twice what they had been expected to commit.

Just the spending linked to the Koch network is more than the $370 million that John McCain raised for his entire presidential campaign four years ago. And the $1 billion total surpasses the $750 million that Barack Obama, one of the most prolific fundraisers ever, collected for his 2008 campaign.

As you can see, then, Allen and VandeHei spell out in no uncertain terms just how grave the threat to Charles Koch’s Economic Freedom really is. It should be obvious to everyone now that this threat is so dire that Mr. Koch is left with no choice but to spend $400 million dollars on the 2012 presidential and congressional campaigns. I mean, just imagine how much more he would be able to spend to make sure that the White House and Congress are fully staffed with people for whom restoring and protecting his Economic Freedom is Job One if he weren’t so brutally oppressed by the appalling lack of Economic Freedom under which he currently chafes.

As Mr. Koch notes in his op-ed,

No centralized government, no matter how big, how smart or how powerful, can effectively and efficiently control much of society in a beneficial way. On the contrary, big governments are inherently inefficient and harmful. And yet, the tendency of our own government here in the U.S. has been to grow bigger and bigger, controlling more and more. This is why America keeps dropping in the annual ranking of economic freedom.

While this statement might sound kind of ridiculously paranoid and delusional, please note that only a real giver and true mensch would selflessly give away the kind of money that he and his brother are putting into the 2012 elections, which I probably don’t need to remind you is something he is doing for no other reason than to help select staff for an organization he believes is “inherently inefficient and harmful.” That takes a truly generous heart, not to mention a complete and total lack of acquaintance with the concept of irony.

Elsewhere in his op-ed, Mr. Koch invokes Karl Marx and toilet-paper rationing (really), and he rightly calls out the “far too many legislative proposals that would subsidize one form of energy over another,” which he — rightly again — sees as interfering with Economic Freedom for All Americans. But I have to admit that I found that part a little confusing. I thought guys like him were usually OK with subsidizing one form of energy over another, as long as the “one form of energy” isn’t renewable, and Mr. Koch does in fact confirm this by railing on about wind energy subsidies, which he considers an “obvious example” of the ways in which support for renewable energy is at odds with Economic Freedom for All Americans.

In his defense, he could be legitimately unaware that the oil industry is heavily subsidized in the United States and in the rest of the world. (See, for example, “U.S. Fossil-Fuel Subsidies Twice That of Renewables” and “Fossil Fuel Subsidies Six Times More Than Renewable Energy.”). We are talking about someone who may be getting most of his information from Newsmax, after all, so how exactly would you expect him to know about documentable things that really happen in the actual world? He has been very busy Fighting for Economic Freedom for All Americans, including You People, so he obviously has more important things to do than inform himself appropriately and behave accordingly. Fighting for the Economic Freedom of All Americans is a big job. Take it easy on the guy already. Sheesh.

So it is entirely possible that while he was busy Fighting for the Economic Freedom of All Americans, Mr. Koch might have missed “World Energy Outlook 2011,” a report issued by the International Energy Agency in November of last year. According to the report:

Fossil-fuel subsidies as presently constituted tend to be regressive, disproportionately benefiting higher income groups that can afford higher levels of fuel consumption. Cutting the payments would also help tackle climate change. Eliminating subsidies by 2020 would cut global energy demand by 3.9 percent in that year, the equivalent of 600 million tons of oil. The savings would rise to 4.8 percent by 2035.

But do you think Charles Koch, champion of the Economic Freedom of All Americans, has time to worry his pretty little head about disproportionate benefits going to higher income groups or the negative impact of oil subsidies on climate change? Please. Of course he doesn’t. What part of Fighting for Economic Freedom do You People not understand? We are talking about Freedom for All Americans, for God’s sake, and that literally means All Americans, from Paul Ryan to Mitt Romney to the Koch brothers themselves. And even that does not begin to consider their many dependents.

Yes, that’s right: their dependents. You People really have no idea how many mouths those poor Kochs have to feed, do you? Well, know this: Koch Industries has no fewer than 172 members of Congress to support during the 2012 election cycle! That support has already totaled $1,677,301 so far this year, not counting anything they have spent since July 1. And before you start trying to say they probably only support Republicans, you should please note that a staggering one percent of their contributions went to Democrats, one of them being Paul Ryan’s cousin-in-law.

We’re talking about total contributions of over $13 million — and that is just what they gave to individual congressional candidates – since 1990. But Mr. Koch makes it crystal clear that he expects absolutely nothing in return! I mean, you tell me if this sounds like a guy who expects anything from the government:

Repeatedly asking for government help undermines the foundations of society by destroying initiative and responsibility. It is also a fatal blow to efficiency and corrupts the political process.

And he should know!

Speaking of what an awesome giver Mr. Koch is, have I mentioned that Koch Industries spent over $8 million last year to lobby Congress on oil and gas industry issues, plus another $5.3 million so far in 2012? What, you think Congress is going to lobby itself? Fighting for Economic Freedom for All Americans is very, very expensive!

But a smart business leader like Mr. Koch is not going to spend all his money in one place. He and his brother also invest heavily in the job-creating climate-change-denial industry, which as you know occupies a critical front in the Fight for Economic Freedom for All Americans. Just to take one example of their considerable generosity: The Kochs are key bankrollers of our friends at the Manhattan Institute, particularly when it comes to supporting that organization’s tireless work to disseminate propaganda on behalf of the fossil-fuel industries. I hope you don’t think that continually having to try to contradict every legitimate climate scientist on the planet Earth, including ingrates like this guy, comes cheap. It doesn’t.

And neither does getting their messages of urgent disentruthfulness out to the public. Even though it all functions in the service of — that’s right: Economic Freedom for All Americans — maintaining that level of projectile anti-intellectualism is itself the very opposite of free. In fact, according to the tree-hugging hippies at Greenpeace, Koch Industries spent over $61 million between 1997 and 2010 to support the Manhattan Institute and other think tanks that traffic in environmental Newspeak. And according to ThinkProgress, “Koch Industries outspends Exxon Mobil on climate and clean energy disinformation.”

Mr. Koch also helpfully demonstrates in his op-ed that it is not only altruistic billionaire mensches like himself who want the kind of Economic Freedom that cannot possibly thrive in a nation with a big control-freak government, which of course is what has always stood in the way of America‘s world leadership in anything that matters. He does this by quoting a millionaire mensch, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who you might not realize was totally on the same page as Mr. Koch in his suspicion and condemnation of big government. As Mr. Koch reminds us,

It was President Franklin Roosevelt who said: “Continued dependence on [government support] induces a spiritual and moral disintegration fundamentally destructive to the national fiber. To dole out relief in this way is to administer a narcotic, a subtle destroyer of the human spirit.”

Who knew FDR was such a free-market free spirit? Knowing how busy Mr. Koch is, though, I wonder whether he ever got around to reading President Roosevelt’s 1935 State of the Union address, the source of the quote, in its entirety. Earlier in the speech, the president had this to say:

We find our population suffering from old inequalities, little changed by past sporadic remedies. In spite of our efforts and in spite of our talk we have not weeded out the overprivileged and we have not effectively lifted up the underprivileged. Both of these manifestations of injustice have retarded happiness. No wise man has any intention of destroying what is known as the “profit motive,” because by the profit motive we mean the right by work to earn a decent livelihood for ourselves and our families.

We have, however, a clear mandate from the people, that Americans must forswear that conception of the acquisition of wealth which, through excessive profits, creates undue private power over private affairs and, to our misfortune, over public affairs as well. In building toward this end we do not destroy ambition, nor do we seek to divide our wealth into equal shares on stated occasions. We continue to recognize the greater ability of some to earn more than others. But we do assert that the ambition of the individual to obtain for him and his a proper security, a reasonable leisure, and a decent living throughout life is an ambition to be preferred to the appetite for great wealth and great power.

I recall to your attention my message to the Congress last June in which I said, “Among our objectives I place the security of the men, women, and children of the Nation first.” That remains our first and continuing task: and in a very real sense every major legislative enactment of this Congress should be a component part of it.

I have no idea why Mr. Koch would have left that part out because it sounds like exactly the same thing as Fighting for Economic Freedom for All Americans.

And here’s where the president seems to have been going with that whole “subtle destroyer of the human spirit” thing (again quoting from the 1935 SOTU):

I am not willing that the vitality of our people be further sapped by the giving of cash, of market baskets, of a few hours of weekly work cutting grass, raking leaves, or picking up papers in the public parks. We must preserve not only the bodies of the unemployed from destitution but also their self-respect, their self-reliance, and courage and determination. This decision brings me to the problem of what the Government should do with approximately 5,000,000 unemployed now on the relief rolls.

About one million and a half of these belong to the group which in the past was dependent upon local welfare efforts. Most of them are unable for one reason or another to maintain themselves independently – for the most part, through no fault of their own. Such people, in the days before the great depression, were cared for by local effort – by States, by counties, by towns, by cities, by churches, and by private welfare agencies. It is my thought that in the future they must be cared for as they were before. I stand ready, through my own personal efforts and through the public influence of the office that I hold, to help these local agencies to get the means necessary to assume this burden.

The security legislation which I shall propose to the Congress will, I am confident, be of assistance to local effort in the care of this type of cases. Local responsibility can and will be resumed, for, after all, common sense tells us that the wealth necessary for this task existed and still exists in the local community, and the dictates of sound administration require that this responsibility be in the first instance a local one.

There are, however, an additional three and one-half million employable people who are on relief. With them the problem is different and the responsibility is different. This group was the victim of a Nation-wide depression caused by conditions which were not local but national. The Federal Government is the only governmental agency with sufficient power and credit to meet this situation. We have assumed this task, and we shall not shrink form it in the future. It is a duty dictated by every intelligent consideration of national policy to ask you to make it possible for the United States to give employment to all of these three-and-a-half million people now on relief, pending their absorption in a rising tide of private employment.

It is my thought that, with the exception of certain of the normal public building operations of the Government, all emergency public works shall be united in a single new and greatly enlarged plan.

I know all this probably makes it look like Mr. Koch deliberately misrepresents what President Roosevelt actually said in an utterly shameless, dishonest, and despicable way. But I am sure that is not the case. I am sure there is a plausible explanation for how Mr. Koch could have misunderstood the president’s speech to the extent that he seems to think it meant the exact opposite of what it actually says.But there is something Mr. Koch says in the article that he and I definitely agree on:

Today, many governments give special treatment to a favored few businesses that eagerly accept those favors. This is the essence of cronyism.

He could not be more on the money on this one. And when Charles Koch defines “the essence of cronysim” (which he really does in all kinds of ways), he is obviously speaking from experience. For instance, Koch Supply & Trading was selected by the Bush Administration in 2002 “to provide approximately 8 million barrels of crude oil to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve,” according to this Department of Energy press release. And Reuters reported in a February 2011 article titled “Koch Brothers Positioned To Be Big Winners If Keystone XL Pipeline Is Approved,” that

Koch Industries is already responsible for close to 25 percent of the oil sands crude that is imported into the United States, and is well-positioned to benefit from increasing Canadian oil imports.

A Koch Industries operation in Calgary, Alberta, called Flint Hills Resources Canada LP, supplies about 250,000 barrels of tar sands oil a day to a heavy oil refinery in Minnesota, also owned by the Koch brothers.

Flint Hills Resources Canada also operates a crude oil terminal in Hardisty, Alberta, the starting point of the proposed Keystone XL pipeline.

The company’s website says it is “among Canada’s largest crude oil purchasers, shippers and exporters.” Koch Industries also owns Koch Exploration Canada, L.P., an oil sands-focused exploration company also based in Calgary that acquires, develops and trades petroleum properties.

In sum, perhaps I am being too cynical in my adorable little outrage over the facts that not only can a handful of extraordinarily wealthy people essentially buy elections out from under 240 million eligible voters who helped to subsidize their wealth in the first place but that they are somehow also able — publicly, and completely and utterly without shame — to work themselves up into a righteous lather as if they are somehow the victims in all this and the rest of us just need to understand what it takes to Fight for Economic Freedom for All Americans. If they become even more obscenely “overprivileged” in the process, well, that’s their reward for Fighting the Good Fight for All Americans, just as God and FDR intended.

And if they want to buy an election because they’re pissed off at the president for standing in the way of their next not at all crony-capitalistic government windfall? Well, they should go right ahead! This is America! And in the America that Mr. Koch envisions, where Economic Freedom will one day ring for All Americans, we will all someday be just as free as he is now to buy whatever kind of political system we want, too. And if there is no way most of us will ever be able to afford to do that, well, the free market will have spoken and it doesn’t want to hear any backtalk from the likes of You People.

Finally, Mr. Koch leaves us with this ominous observation:

In a system without economic freedom, the wealthiest are the tyrants who make people’s lives miserable.

Tell me about it.

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