It’s been an amusing week around chez Alevei, especially since Mr. Alevei has somehow ended up on the mailing list for the Republican National Committee, perhaps thanks to a family member or two who still think his politics may be worth trying to salvage. Most exciting of all, he is now therefore eligible to participate in the RNC 2012 Presidential Issues Survey, which has just arrived in the mail, along with a nice note From the Desk of Mitt Romney, cheerily dated “Monday Morning,” that opens with the salutation, “Dear Fellow Republican.” Because the envelope is marked “urgent,” Mr. Alevei of course felt that he had no choice but to give it his immediate attention.
Gov. Romney writes that he and his “friends at the Republican National Committee” are interested in finding out “what hard-working Americans” like Mr. Alevei “want this campaign to be about.” In addition to his “honest, thoughtful answers” to the survey questions, which “will help guide our blueprint to victory” (yes, that is really what it says, guide our blueprint), naturally Gov. Romney “would appreciate” Mr. Alevei’s “financial support as well.”
Also tucked into the envelope is a longer letter from RNC chair (and “obvious anagram”¹) Reince Priebus filled with the usual underlining of important points. You know, like “Make no mistake: the very future of our nation will be determined by the outcome of the 2012 election,” and “Barack Obama is hoping his constant demagoguery, blustery partisan rhetoric, billion dollar war chest and hundreds of millions of dollars from his Big Union Bosses will buy him another term.² We cannot allow that to happen.” That kind of thing.
One thing both letters have in common is their insistence on how truly valuable Mr. Alevei’s thoughts and feelings “on the major issues of the day” really are to the RNC. As Mr. Priebus explains, “The experience you bring to the table is critical to our Party’s success.”
You see, Mr. Alevei has been “chosen to participate in this Survey,” writes Mr. Priebus, because of his “active political involvement and steadfast commitment to the Republican Party” in his “area.” And in his note, Gov. Romney identifies Mr. Alevei as “one of our country’s most active Republicans.”
All this has led me to wonder whether Mr. Alevei has been engaging in political activities about which I am somehow unaware. That seems unlikely, so I am left with the exciting possibility that a long-haired pro-choice civil libertarian who supports same-sex marriage and is married to a Jewish liberal feminist university professor who works for the state may actually be the RNC’s best hope for “active” and “steadfast” support for their idiotic Romney/Ryan ticket come November. (Yes, I do have a rich fantasy life, but alevei.)