It’s been an amusing week around chez Alevei, especially since Mr. Alevei has somehow ended up on the mailing list for the Republican National Committee, perhaps thanks to a family member or two who still think his politics may be worth trying to salvage. Most exciting of all, he is now therefore eligible to participate in the RNC 2012 Presidential Issues Survey, which has just arrived in the mail, along with a nice note From the Desk of Mitt Romney, cheerily dated “Monday Morning,” that opens with the salutation, “Dear Fellow Republican.” Because the envelope is marked “urgent,” Mr. Alevei of course felt that he had no choice but to give it his immediate attention.
Gov. Romney writes that he and his “friends at the Republican National Committee” are interested in finding out “what hard-working Americans” like Mr. Alevei “want this campaign to be about.” In addition to his “honest, thoughtful answers” to the survey questions, which “will help guide our blueprint to victory” (yes, that is really what it says, guide our blueprint), naturally Gov. Romney “would appreciate” Mr. Alevei’s “financial support as well.”
Also tucked into the envelope is a longer letter from RNC chair (and “obvious anagram”¹) Reince Priebus filled with the usual underlining of important points. You know, like “Make no mistake: the very future of our nation will be determined by the outcome of the 2012 election,” and “Barack Obama is hoping his constant demagoguery, blustery partisan rhetoric, billion dollar war chest and hundreds of millions of dollars from his Big Union Bosses will buy him another term.² We cannot allow that to happen.” That kind of thing.
One thing both letters have in common is their insistence on how truly valuable Mr. Alevei’s thoughts and feelings “on the major issues of the day” really are to the RNC. As Mr. Priebus explains, “The experience you bring to the table is critical to our Party’s success.”
You see, Mr. Alevei has been “chosen to participate in this Survey,” writes Mr. Priebus, because of his “active political involvement and steadfast commitment to the Republican Party” in his “area.” And in his note, Gov. Romney identifies Mr. Alevei as “one of our country’s most active Republicans.”
All this has led me to wonder whether Mr. Alevei has been engaging in political activities about which I am somehow unaware. That seems unlikely, so I am left with the exciting possibility that a long-haired pro-choice civil libertarian who supports same-sex marriage and is married to a Jewish liberal feminist university professor who works for the state may actually be the RNC’s best hope for “active” and “steadfast” support for their idiotic Romney/Ryan ticket come November. (Yes, I do have a rich fantasy life, but alevei.)
OK, I really wasn’t prepared to have to deal with this level of stupidity so early in the week nor so soon after the multiple head explosions I experienced earlier today as a result of my looking into whether Mitt Romney might be a teensy bit of a hypocrite on the subject of crony capitalism.
But when a candidate for the U.S. Senate (who is also a six-term congressman in the House of Representatives) says
First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy from rape) is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
well, I can’t just look the other way, as much as I’d like to. But I will keep this one short. On the topic of Missouri Senate candidate and currently serving House Representative Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin (R-You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me. People Actually Elected This Horse’s Ass to National Office?), I will say only the following:
2. Many of the Republicans who are now scurrying to disavow Rep. Akin’s comments are some of the same people who have co-sponsored misogynistic bills right along with Missouri’s finest that indicate that they believe there is such a thing as non-forcible rape, the existence of which they felt should be codified into law. And they are also some of the same people who were poised to bankroll his Senate campaign. Do I really need to point out that in his SIXTH term in the House of Representatives, Akin is far from an unknown quantity, so they don’t get to pretend to be all surprised and shocked and everything and act like they are just now finding out that this guy is anyone other than exactly who they thought he was all along and knowingly supported until he had to go and say out loud what a lot of them are thinking, possibly blowing their chances of taking control of the Senate, which alevei.
3. The House Science Committee really flew up its own ass when it let Todd Akin be on it and therefore should probably be disbanded until such time as its membership can be limited to people with an actual clue, which while we’re at it should also be a prerequisite for serving in Congress to begin with.
4. This is why God doesn’t want you to go on the TV on Sundays, Rep. Akin.